Chronicles of Cry It Out - Why we're on hold

It seemed to be going so well. There was less crying, more sleeping. But there we other changes too...ones I really wanted to ignore, or at least pretend they were caused by teething or something. Then it all came to a head.

Let's backtrack a bit. Charlie started rolling months ago, but only recently has she been consistently rolling as a means to get from here to there. But, she only rolls one direction at a time. She'll roll, for example, from her tummy to her back, going right. Then, still going right, to her tummy again. Then (right) to her back. Until she encounters an obstacle. If she's on her back when she gets stuck, she deals, wiggles and finds her way out. But if she's on her tummy, she just keeps trying to roll to the right, desperate to get onto her back, resulting in her hitting her head on said obstacle over and over again as she tries to get to her back.

It's not a huge deal if she's in the living room with me, I can roll her to the left and get her started on the rolling path to safety. But, when I've put her in her crib (drowsy but awake) the last seven or eight times, it's been a different story. I didn't know why she was suddenly crying for an hour again, until I came in the first time and found her on her belly, terrified. She didn't have room to roll back over, and seemed to think she was stuck forever. It took some time to calm her down, and then she fell asleep in my arms. The next day, her screaming got more intense after 10 minutes, and I heard banging against the wall. She was, again, stuck on her stomach, and attempting to roll despite continually hitting her head against the crib slats (we don't use bumpers, per the SIDS recommendation.) The next day, determined to keep closer watch, I found her almost immediately on her tummy, backed into the bottom corner with her foot stuck through the slats.

Tim and I talked about it, and decided that until she had figured out rolling either direction, we'd back off on the CIO business. The risk of her hurting herself seems to outweigh any benefit offered.

There have been other issues too. I don't know if baby's can be paranoid, but it seems like Charlie is. She started crying and twisting any time we go into her room now. If I lay her down on the changing table (previously one of her favorite places) she starts screaming immediately. I've heard of CIO babies loving their cribs, but Charlie has learned to fear hers. I'm at a loss. The last few days of letting her fall asleep next to me on the couch, but not touching me, seems to have gone well. I am (usually) able to transfer her to her crib without commotion. She's been happier during the day, and more inclined to play by herself, or with her dad or grandparents then she was the last week or so. She still cries when I put her on the changing table, but only until she figures out she's getting changed, then she calms down and starts smiling.

In some ways I feel like a failure, because CIO is so successful for so many, but on the other hand, I know my stubborn little girl, and it's clear that this isn't the right path for her. At least for now.

So, I'm a bit discouraged, but glad to have my happy girl back. Even if bedtime still doesn't come easy.