Friday, November 13, 2009

Battle Plan for Rats

Yesterday a coworker sent me a news article about "toilet rats" in Seattle. Evidentally, enough rats are working there way into homes through toilets that they have created a job that I like to call The Toilet Rat Hero, to eliminate this problem. There is a man whose entire work week is dedicated to tracking down these pests before they surprise you. Anyway, after I read the article and announced I was going to throw up, she asked me, "What would you do in this situation." So, without further ado -

The Toilet Rat Battle Plan:

Should I happen into the bathroom and see a rat head poking out of my toilet, the advsise given by the Toilet Rat Hero is to close the lid and flush. I say, "Not enough!"
I would:
Slam the lid closed
Put every book we own (which is a lot) on the seat
Put the bookcase on top of the books
Put anything else of substantial weight on top of the bookcase
Wash my hands
Call Tim and force him to "Get here NOW!"
Call 911 and report a toilet rat
Declare a national emergency
Breathe into a bag unless screaming or crying
Vacate the premises
Vow never to go to the bathroom again

Basically the same thing I do when I find a spider.

1 comment:

  1. I had to read this outloud to my mom and funny! My grandpa and grandma had a toilet rat at their house in renton, a looong time ago; I'm still scared to use the toilet there!

    Shannon, Rachel and Karen