So, maybe I'm a bit dramatic. But you'll see why.
Last night Tim and I decided to go on a date. So, being the big spenders we are, we headed to the local Sticky Foot Theater, dolled out $3 each, and went to see The Informant. While we were paying, a middle aged couple behind us were trying to decide which movie to see again. It seems they'd already seen all of them, but were lacking anything else to do. Then, Tim and I were heading for the theater, and they started talking about just following us to the appropriate theater. (Mind you, they were about 200 feet behind us, so notice they were not quiet or discreet type people. See what's coming?) Tim and I enter the theater and see two people in the back row. All the other seats were empty. Repeat: ALL the other seats were EMPTY. We chose seats about 5 rows back, toward the left side. Enter loud followers. They see the theater now has 4 people in it, with about 40 empty seats, and beeline to the seats directly behind us and one seat over. At this point, they were on my radar. (I have strict rules about movie theater etiquette. Stricter when the theater is virtually empty. There's no one there to absorb the sounds!) The couple gabs in pseudo stage whispers until the lights dim, and previews begin. "Whew," I thought. "At least they'll be quiet now." Riiiiight. They proceed to talk through the previews in voices slightly quieter than yelling. Once the movie started (remember, I'm fairly confident they'd already seen it, so didn't feel the need to pay strict attention) I foolishly thought they'd notice other people were there and quiet down. After about 10 minutes of incessant talk I turned and did one of those "Seriously? Shut it!" stares. The talking turned to whispers briefly. Then gradually increased in volume. I tried valiantly to ignore this. Then the Mr. of the couple decided to start kicking the back of the seat. What? I pointedly leaned forward and cast another glare in their direction. Then, as the movie was drawing to an end, they started discussing what was going to happen. I turned to Tim, and said, "Seriously?!" and he turned around and said loudly, "We're still watching this."
Silly me to think that they would be abashed by this and shut up. They talked through the remainder of the movie and were still seated talking when the lights came up.
Moral of the story:
If this is you - save everyone around you some grief and go to a coffee shop! Don't ruin everyone else's experience. Just don't. And, if the theater is empty - leave some space between you and the next guy. There's room to spare!
And if you're wondering if the movie was any good, I couldn't tell you. I was so angry by the end that I assume it was terrible, but I think that's just transference on my part.
I'm still mad. Can you tell?